“‘So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending!’, said Bilbo, as he turned his back on his adventure.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
Dear St. Earth,
My Tookish part is getting very tired, and my Baggins is getting stronger. It’s good to be back in known lands and amidst my comforts; discomfiting to also be so quickly back in my burrow, with chores and a hundred minor responsibilities. Great to end the slogging home part of the journey, sad to know that my adventure has come to an end. I was both well overdue and not quite ready for it.
Carrying my boxes of tools and junk, loot and proof, back into my studio last night was like achieving a final victory condition. I could almost feel the XP raining down on me; cha-ching! It sparked the realization that I had indeed been gone a long while, long enough to have forgotten the last pots I made here before leaving, somehow still slightly damp under their plastic sheeting. Long enough to have lost track of the fact that the shelves here are already pretty well crowded; so that even though it is now somehow instantly March, out here in the real world, I’m not as desperately far behind schedule as I’d feared, and in fact may be a bit ahead of it, pending how the pots I made there seem when I drag them out into the harsher light of inspection here.
I’ve not yet had or made time to think too deeply about the experience as a whole, the entire journey there and back again. Small distractions add up, and perhaps I’m not yet ready for that caliber of assessment. It might even be foolish that I’m trying to describe it now, without having yet collapsed into the slothful heap that I probably need to be for a good two days. It won’t happen — life goes on, of course, and every minute costs the same — but in little nibbles and pieces I expect some awareness and conclusions will present themselves. Bilbo, if I recall correctly, didn’t just charge into is memoirs right away, either. There’s probably some wisdom in that.
So I went out and started a fire this morning — my wheel, my bats, my music! — and plan to step back away from the digital realm and go unpack some stuff and sort through some boxes, assess some pots and see how things seem different for having dared to leave for a while. I’m much richer than before, in certain ways that have nothing to do with treasure, and perhaps poorer in aspects that are yet to be revealed. So it goes.
I think I’ve another dispatch or two from here to go before I abandon it to the archive; but — of course, of course! — nothing’s certain. I’m open to being talked into or out of the various alternatives, if you’re interested in doing the talking.